The Resignation Letter Has Been in Your Drafts Since June

Mind · The Reading Room, Vol. 116 · 8 min read · what the research says about quitting to escape burnout, and two findings every woman over fifty should know before she resigns

“Burnt out and want to quit my job” is one of the most honest things a woman can type into a search bar. Sometimes leaving is exactly right. But two pieces of research are worth knowing before you draft the email: one about what happens to job satisfaction after a move, and one about what the job market does to women applying in their fifties and sixties.

The short answer: if you are burnt out and want to quit your job, it is worth separating what the job is doing to you from what would follow you to the next one, before deciding. Research on voluntary job changes found satisfaction rises after a move and then tends to fall back over the following year.¹ A field experiment with more than 40,000 applications found clear, repeated evidence of age discrimination in hiring against older women.² Neither means you should stay. Both mean it pays to plan the exit.

The resignation letter has been in your drafts folder since June. You have opened it more times than you can count. Some days it reads like freedom. Other days it reads like the worst decision you could make at fifty-four, with a mortgage, a daughter at university and a pension that would look very different with five fewer years in it. You close it again. You go to the meeting.

If you are here, you are probably exhausted in a way that weekends no longer touch, and the thought of leaving has become the only thought that brings any relief. That relief is real information. It is just not the only information you need.

Jump to: Should you quit? · The honeymoon and the hangover · What the job market does at fifty-plus · When leaving is right · The two-column test · Questions women actually ask

Should I quit my job if I’m burnt out?

Sometimes, yes. Burnout comes from the fit between a person and their work: workload, control, reward, community, fairness and values. When the mismatch is in the job itself (a toxic manager, a culture that has turned against your values, a role that has been hollowed out), then quitting can be the most direct fix available.

The trouble is that burnout also changes how you see your options. When you are depleted, every problem looks permanent and every exit looks like relief. That is why the question is less “should I quit?” and more “what, exactly, am I trying to get away from, and will it still be there on the other side?”

Does changing jobs fix burnout?

It helps, at first. A 2005 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology followed managers over time and described a clear pattern around voluntary job changes. Satisfaction dropped in the run-up to leaving, jumped when people started the new role, and then declined over the following year.¹ The researchers called the second half of the curve the hangover.

That finding does not say a new job is pointless. The honeymoon is real, and sometimes the new job really is better. What it suggests is that a portion of the lift comes from the change itself, and that portion fades. If what was burning you out was the job, the gain is likely to stick. If part of it was you, the long hours you volunteer for, the inability to say no, the standard you never let yourself fall below, those habits start the new job on the same day you do.

That is why so many women describe leaving one exhausting role for another, and discovering eighteen months later that they have rebuilt the same life in a different building.

Before you decide what to leave, it helps to see everything you are carrying, at work and outside it, on one page. The Quiet Audit does that in ten minutes. Start here.

Is it harder to find a job at fifty-plus?

For women, the evidence says yes, and it is worth knowing before you resign rather than after. In a large field experiment published in 2019, David Neumark of the University of California, Irvine, with Ian Burn and Patrick Button, sent more than 40,000 realistic job applications from fictional candidates of different ages.²

They found clear, repeated evidence of age discrimination in hiring against older women, especially those near retirement age. For men, once they corrected for biases that had affected earlier studies, they found considerably less evidence of age discrimination.²

This is uncomfortable, and it is also useful. It does not mean you cannot move. Many women change jobs successfully in their fifties, often through people who already know their work rather than through cold applications. It does mean the order of events matters. Resigning first and searching second puts you on the side of the market where the discrimination was measured. Searching first, through your network, while still employed, keeps more of the power with you.

When is quitting the right answer?

When the main cause of your burnout is clearly the job and cannot be changed from inside it. When your health is being harmed and the organisation will not move. When the values gap is so wide that staying requires you to be someone you are not. In those cases, the research above does not argue for staying. It argues for leaving well: with a plan, a runway and, ideally, the next thing already lined up.

If you are severely depleted, the kind of exhausted where concentration and memory have gone, it is also worth knowing that recovery from serious burnout often takes longer than people expect, and that big decisions are easier to make well once you have stabilised. We looked at how long it takes in how long does burnout recovery take. If you have not yet checked whether this is burnout at all, the self-check is in tired is not the test.

How do I decide whether to quit?

The practice is a two-column test, and it takes about fifteen minutes on a Sunday afternoon, not on a Sunday night. Draw a line down a page. On the left, write everything that is exhausting you that belongs to this job: the people, the structure, the demands, the culture. On the right, write everything that is exhausting you that you would take with you: the hours you choose, the requests you never refuse, the standard you hold yourself to.

Then look at which column is longer. If the left column dominates, the job is the problem, and it is time to start the search quietly, through people who know your work, before you resign. If the right column is long, change one item on it for a month first, and see what that does to the resignation letter in your drafts. Either way, you will be deciding with information instead of with exhaustion.

If the pull to leave is really a pull away from a job you are still very good at, that specific feeling has its own piece: why do I dread a job I’m still good at.

Questions women actually ask about this

Should I quit my job because of burnout?

Sometimes. If the main cause is the job itself and cannot be changed from inside, then quitting can be the right fix. If part of the cause is habits that would come with you, a new job may help only temporarily; research found satisfaction often rises after a job change and then declines.¹

Is it harder to get a job over 50 as a woman?

The evidence suggests yes. A field experiment using more than 40,000 job applications found clear age discrimination in hiring against older women, especially those near retirement age, and considerably less against men.² Searching while employed and through your network can help.

Will a new job cure my burnout?

It may help, particularly if the old job was the main cause. But studies of voluntary job changes show a honeymoon followed by a decline in satisfaction,¹ so if overwork, perfectionism or difficulty saying no are part of the picture, they are likely to follow you.

Should I quit without another job lined up?

It depends on your health and your finances. If your health is at risk, quitting may be necessary. Otherwise, given the measured age discrimination against older women in hiring,² many women find it safer to search while still employed, or to negotiate a period of leave first.

How do I know if it’s the job or me?

Separate the causes on paper: what belongs to this job, and what you would bring to any job. If most of the weight is in the first list, the job is the problem. If much of it is in the second, change one of those habits for a month before deciding.

For the fuller picture of burnout that looks like coping from the outside, our guide is the place to start: everyone keeps telling you how well you’re handling this.

On the research. The job-change study followed managers and measured satisfaction, not burnout. The field experiment measured callbacks for specific entry-level and mid-level occupations using fictional applicants, not the senior roles many readers hold, and not hires made through personal networks. This article uses both to inform a decision, not to make it for you.

References
1. Boswell WR, Boudreau JW, Tichy J. The relationship between employee job change and job satisfaction: the honeymoon-hangover effect. Journal of Applied Psychology. 2005;90(5):882-892.
2. Neumark D, Burn I, Button P. Is It Harder for Older Workers to Find Jobs? New and Improved Evidence from a Field Experiment. Journal of Political Economy. 2019;127(2).

Written by Tomasz Nowak for Blue Leaf Journal.